QUESTION: I hear people say, “Live your dream!” or “Follow your bliss!” but I don’t know what my dreams are, or what my bliss is. I am so busy with work, kids, and errands that I don’t feel I have the time to pay attention to what it is I want for myself. I don’t remember what it feels like to have a passion or a dream. How can I tap into the clarity I need to even begin to know what it is that I desire for myself?
ANSWER: I am so glad you asked, I L.O.V.E. this question!
First of all, thank you for being brave enough to ask. It takes a lot of vulnerability to admit to yourself, much less others, that you have lost the connection with yourself and you don’t remember what it feels like to have a personal dream. WOW, what a huge step towards gaining clarity and tapping into the real YOU!
Secondly, I know exactly how you feel. Perhaps like you, I spent much of my life having no idea what it felt like to feel passion towards a dream. I always felt like I had to make something of myself, i.e. be different than I was so that I could find a passion or a dream to follow. I spent years looking externally, searching for the right career path so that maybe, just maybe, I would finally find something that would reveal to me my passions and dreams. It didn’t occur to me until much later that the answer was never going to be found out there. It was actually in the one place I hadn’t looked……within my soul.
When I started paying close attention to my feelings, to what made me feel joy and exhilaration, to what gave me energy, I discovered that my passion was learning how to love myself and others more deeply and honestly. I loved learning about taking responsibility for my thoughts, and training myself how to create the life experience I wanted to live. Then, I discovered that I have a natural talent to teach others how to do the same, and this brings me even more passion and joy!
So, you see, this isn’t something I found “out there”, or by taking a vocational compatibility test. I learned this by getting quiet, meditating, and caring enough about who I AM to learn what feels good and exciting to me, and then following that feeling (hence, Follow Your Bliss). So, to specifically answer your question, you tap into the clarity you need to reignite your passions by:
- Facing your biggest, scariest emotional struggles head on and allowing them to become healed. Whether this means going to a see counsellor, joining an in person or online support group, or reading about possible solutions and carving out your own healing journey……just do the work. You will not be able to fully FEEL passion until you give your shame, your fear, your undivided attention to speak up and tell you what it wants you to hear. And I can almost guarantee that your fear is only trying to protect you, so thank it, and move on. This process can take days, month, or years, so be sure not to rush. Be patient with yourself and take your time. Oh, and FYI, if you are thinking, “I don’t have anything I need help with”, Ummm think again. We ALL do.
- Once your negativity is cleared, and you have made room within yourself to feel passion and connect with your dreams, begin taking time to meditate and get quite. Become curious about how your body feels, about different sensations, about messages that arise that may be coming from your soul. Pay attention to the impulses and urges to say something or write something down. Pay attention to what it is your body wants to eat, or how it wants to move. The purpose is to let yourself know that you are listening and that it is safe to unapologetically express yourself.
- Once you provide your soul with space and safety to communicate with you, it’s game on! Now, your only job is to honor your clarity and act on it. If you continuously shut down your intuition, or bury it with fear, it will get quieter and quieter. This is how you got confused and lost in the first place. All you have to do is allow it to flow freely, like a beautiful raging river, and be brave enough to take inspired action when you feel in your gut that it is time.
- Rinse and repeat, my darlin'. This isn’t a once and done kind of a thing. You have to continuously do your work, continuously acknowledge your fears, give them space to just be, meditate and listen to your soul, be vulnerable and brave, and take inspired action. Over time it gets easier, and before you know it, you FEEL passion, you FEEL clarity, you FEEL like you know exactly what you are supposed to do. YAY!!!!!
Q&A with Mae is an opportunity for me to answer your incoming questions. Feel free to email me anytime at firstname.lastname@example.org so I can answer your question on the blog!