Thank you, Meredith Newlin, for your awesome question about forgiveness! You are the winner of the “Q + A with Mae” Question Entry Contest! Your free Yay! Brand journal is on it’s way!
I love your Q + A.
Here's my question: Why do you think forgiveness is so important?
Is there a particular system that you recommend when it comes to forgiving others and ourselves?
Answer: Thank you so much for your question, Meredith! Forgiveness is so often misunderstood as an actual “pardon” (even though it is derived from the Latin word “perdonare”) that we give to others who have done something to us that was wrong or hurtful. For example, we may work to forgive our ex-partner who cheated and left us wounded and unwilling to trust others. We may be working to forgive a family member who spoke poorly about us behind our backs…and we found out about it. But the truth is…..we can only truly forgive ourselves for the way we chose to react/behave regarding those circumstances. Yes…we can forgive others for what they have done.....but honestly, forgiveness is actually about YOU….not about them.
Forgiveness is important because it’s an act of radical Self-Love. It is an intentional choice you make that will relieve the pressures of blame and shame that YOU carry. Forgiveness allows you to accept what is, and know that it couldn’t have been any other way.
When you feel the desire to forgive, take these THREE STEPS TO FORGIVENESS:
- Spend a few moments feeling love toward yourself. Acknowledge all the hard work you have been doing lately, all the energy you give to your family, your career, your life. Say “Thank You” to your precious body for working to hold you up, carry you forward, and keep you strong. Your body has been with you your whole life, helping you every step of the way. Give thanks.
- Grab your favorite journal and write it down. Write a letter of forgiveness to yourself. Get it all out. You can start by focusing on completing the sentence “I forgive myself for…” and let it flow. Don’t hold back here, this is your chance to release.
- Now for the icing on the cake…sit quietly and FEEL forgiveness. Don’t think about what you are forgiving yourself or others for, don’t focus on the actual situation. Actually allow yourself to hold the feeling of forgiveness in your mind, body, and spirit. Hold that feeling for as long as you can…or at least for 17 seconds (trust me…there’s science behind this!)
These steps work for me, and I know they will work for you too! Forgiveness is personal freedom, and isn’t that what we all want? To be free?
Thanks again for your question, Meredith!
BTW…I would love to know how this method worked for you! If you feel like sharing…leave your experience in the comments section below! I’d LOVE to hear all about it!
OH and another BTW…to win YOUR complimentary Yay! Brand Journal, send me your questions about Self-Love, Self-Respect, Self-Worth….anything you want to know about Personal Growth! It’s my JAM and I love helping you move towards loving the heck out of yourselves! Shoot your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org.